Tuesday, September 2, 2014

When grief and despair takes over you

When you feel most helpless, and that there is no way out, remember that the help of Allah is near.

That your problems are not punishment, but God's way of cleansing your sins, and raising your status in His eyes. Like water poured over a wound, it hurts. It hurts, and it cleanse, and it heals.

When grief takes over you, like the dark clouds engulfing the sky, and your chest feels heavy, and your throat chocking back those tears, and you feel like you can't go on, pause and breathe. Cry if you want, but pause and breathe. Force yourself to be patient. Patient is not gifted, it is earned. Learn to be patient, and learn to put your trust in Allah.

Occupy yourself with worthy goals, and occupy your mind with the words of Allah. Do not dwell on your problems, get up and do something.

When grief and despair takes over you, smile and keep going. Do not give up. Get up in the middle of the night, when it is still and quiet, when your babe is sleeping, and the cats curling, and seek help with your Lord. Ask Him, and trust that your wish will be granted, in the best way possible.

Do not give up hope, and do not give up dreaming. Smile, and remind yourself of times when you were strong, and happy, and laughing with joy. 

Saturday, August 30, 2014


                                                       If only there's a manual to parenting!

Finding new goals

As a mom and wife its very easy to stay in the "busy mode". To be needed, for the important task of MOMMY is indeed an honour; a responsibility not to be taken lightly. Just as I take pride in watching my child grow, each of her milestone reminds me that I too, am growing older.

Yesterday an old conversation popped back into my head. It was a new semester during my uni days, and I bumped into my senior friend. I was contemplating about how many subjects to take that semester. I remarked at her choice of taking lots of major subjects. She said, "Well, whether you take more or less subject, they are still going to give you headache!" Make sense? Sometimes we may feel overwhelmed with so many things to do; excusing ourselves from trying out new things.

As a mom and wife we can still find time to work on our personal goals. Whatever enrich our life experience will benefit our family too. By focusing on our personal development, we can teach our kids the meaning of hard work, and the sweetness of achieving success.

The first year of motherhood was a time of adjustment for me. Not much time for myself, and lots of stress. I have learnt that detachment from our babies, from time to time can do a lot of good, for both of us! :) Alhamdulillah, I found a good babysitter. After a long search, and lots of prayer, Allah guide me to ask my friend if shes willing to take care of my baby few hours a week. Those hours, I spend either teaching, studying or...dating! Aaaahhh to eat out with your spouse without a tazmanian-devil is so peaceful.

I am now consistently working on my 3 (secret) goals-  May Allah ease our ways  in this world, and ease our path to Jannah.....

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 2

It is less than an hour before iftar. My little family is napping. Faree'ah had her evening bath, all scrubbed up after a busy day playing, and staying in the kitchen while I cooked. It is not easy to cook with a baby. While the chicken is frying, I rush to make caramel pudding, and keeping an eyes for Faree'ah who is busy tearing down the kitchen. I have to use the walker unfortunately, as the kitchen is not practical for her to be playing on the floor. For babies it is best to let them grow and play naturally- as creeping and crawling teach them a lot about eye-hand coordination, and strengthening up their tiny body..

Faree'ah found my mechanical pencil this morning and scratch her body, leaving a little scar. I must watch her more carefully.

Today I have been contemplating about yesterday's lecture; about not wasting a single morsel of food for we do not know where is the barakah. This barakah could help make our life better; in ways we do not notice. Perhaps it will be easier to seek knowledge, or perform ibadah, or memorise qur'an, or to perfect our akhlaq..through this blessing. Thus, do not waste any food, not even a grain of rice! I admit I am pretty weak with this point, but yesterday's talk motivates me to try again (and again). Imagine we cannot even bear to throw one ringgit in the bin, yet on a daily basis we are willing throw something bigger!

Lastly, dua for iftar,

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day 1

As Maghrib enters yesterday, the familiar peaceful feeling that 'Ramadhan is here' engulfs the household. Despite the evening being like any other evening, I can sense how precious this time is.

Faree'ah also behaved herself well alhamdulillah, behave, as in there is no extra tantrum than the usual ones. And that is enough for momma. 

Hasben however wasn't feeling particularly well; the recurrent headache and fever is back. He hasn't been getting enough rest lately, inshaAllah this month he can come back earlier and hopefully getting the rest needed. 

We already put up a prayer timetable in our bedroom, however it turns out the timing is not accurate by about 7 minutes. Thus the Subuh adzan was heard with surprise. Our Adzan clock is also late by 6 minutes. 

This morning I listened to Ustaz Adli's Manhaj Talaqqi about the virtue of Surah Al-Baqarah and Ali-Imran:

Imam Ahmad said that Abu Nu`aym narrated to them that Bishr bin Muhajir said that `Abdullah bin Buraydah narrated to him from his father, "I was sitting with the Prophet and I heard him say,

(Learn Surat Al-Baqarah, because in learning it there is blessing, in ignoring it there is sorrow, and the sorceresses cannot memorize it.)

He kept silent for a while and then said,

(Learn Surat Al-Baqarah and Al `Imran because they are two lights and they shade their people on the Day of Resurrection, just as two clouds, two spaces of shade or two lines of (flying) birds.


Ustaz also said how people like to put Qadr in front of them; i.e. giving up before trying. He said if try to memorize it, even if we fail, Allah knows our intention and will reward us like we completed the deed.

He also said something else. Isn't funny how people can take business risk for worldly profit, borrowing from the bank for example..and yet they do not want to take the risk for a guaranteed reward in the hereafter. And I'm sure this can be applied beyond just memorizing the Qur'an. 

So it got me thinking, am I up for the challenge? Do I want to attempt memorizing Surat Al-Baqarah even if it takes me my whole life, and failing at it? 

Last night I was thinking about how I can be a successful person. This aim seems like a good start.  I have been thinking about what to do to occupy my mind while doing housework anyway. InshaAllah. It sounds scary, memorising Al-Baqarah. So I will start with memorising 5 ayat of Al-Baqarah. Okay let's make it 6. Because all Muslims have memorised the first ayat, no? (Alif, lam, mim...) 

Okay, Faree'ah is napping Alhamdullilah. I probably have 1o more minutes, gotta settle the laundry. 

                                                May Allah make you a righteous Muslimah my dear daughter...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Ramadhan Preparation

Alhamdullillah Ramadhan will start tomorrow. InshaAllah I plan to record this unique month of the year, especially this will be my first year as a mama. Faree'ah though nearing the 7 months mark is not eating as much as I would expect. She takes in fruits at times, at first throwing them back up again. I learn to feed her only when she's really hungry. She likes papaya, dates, avocado, mango and corns so far..banana not so much. I tried peas and zucchini too but her tummy doesn't seem to be ready.

Yesterday I cooked a brown rice porridge, and mixing it with some corn and apple (steamed and blended) Yum! she ate quite well..overall she is still breastfeeding a lot, and alhamdullillah my supply is still enough.

For the first week of Ramadhan inshaAllah, I have made enough brown rice porridge and freezing them. I will add up other fresh ingredient(s) on a day to day basis. I'm trying to stay off the kitchen area as much as I can so I can focus more on doing other deeds. After all you never know when will be your last Ramadhan...

And so, in preparation - I have prepared all the common raw ingredients to last at least a few days, like the chilly paste and onions- as they can be time consuming to prepare. I have also clear out my fridge- inshaAllah lets aim for no wastage of food this month. Only cook or buy what you are going to eat! As was last year's, we have no plan to go to Bazaar Ramadhaan at all. That's where the temptation is!

My mother in law has also prepared some ayam rendang (frozen and divided in small containers) to be enjoyed later. (Sunday's project) I doubt that its going to last long, hasben has been begging for the rendang for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and supper! He is quite clever, he knows I will give in at one of the meal time. Thus, last night dinner he ate them rendang with a smug on his face. InshaAllah, we shall make some more...

Anyway, enough about food..

This year's Ramadhan my aims:

  • Improve my fasting (not just abstaining from food, but clearing my intention, thoughts, perfecting akhlaq, doing ibadah with consciousness)

  • Read Qur'an more often (with translation
  • Perform tarawih at home (with a baby on my side) (and must keep my room neat and tidy inshaaAllah)
  • Be more helpful around the house, helpful to other people
  • To make du'a for Muslims suffering around the world (and not just for myself)
Ya Allah, we can aim as high as the sky (and we should) but it is only He that can grant us the Taufiq to do so! Ya Allah, make this the best Ramadhan for all of us.

As for today I'm trying to finish up some cloth alteration, and cleaning... so that tomorrow can be greeted with peace.

Also, I shall try to remember someone's advice: No complaining, and no blaming! Just do what you have to do. Inshaallah.

                                                              It's my first Ramadhan! 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

baby things

This is quite a random post :) Just sharing some products I find useful:

 For heat rash; but I use sparsely because its powdered. When Faree'ah got severe rashes on her neck it helped to dry up the skin.

Minyak afiat for her tummy. It helps when she's gassy etc. and this oil is really good for minor cut too!

Our friend introduced/lend to us the Baby Bjorn bouncer. best. the seat has 4 reclining position; the highest allows baby to kind of sit up. can be folded and i bring it when i go listen to lecture sometimes.
Great for nappy rash and sore nipple.

 Giant refillable wipes. And Faree'ah really like to stare at the bottle.

 Himalaya shampoo-great to clean the scalp. Faree'ah had cradle cap, as is normal for babies, after switching  to this shampoo, and cleaning her head using all natural baby oil her head cleared.

                       So far we go for Diapex / Drypers. last longer. Pampers is great too, but pricey.

  Ring sling. Great for quick trip to supermarket/ to listen to lecture. Just have to under dress baby, because it gets quite warm when she snuggle up inside the pouch. Wish I bought it sooner so could wear it from day 1. hehe. Now that Faree'ah is almost 6 kg, I wear this for no more than one hour. Black is best to match any outfit...and hide stain!

Miracle blanket (yes that's the name) Makes swaddling easy, keep baby snug and she sleeps longer. Last up to 4 months only.