mother

the other day maryam asked 'mak nak makan apa malam ni?'

'mak nak makan lauk lemak mak'

mak overload alert.

Monday

Lots of pressure at work, especially this week to finish a book that has been hovering my thought day and night for the past months. Feel like crying because I am so exausted and it's only Monday. But when I read Dr Faridah's worry about her mother who is very ill, and think about my dad's friend whose 15 year old daughter just passed away due to denggi I try to remain calm. There are lots of people with tougher things to deal with right now.

Interfaith dialogue

My first interfaith dialogue! There were a couple invites prior to this one; but the place is always too far, or I have something else to do. This one is a bit special, because four different religion is represented. Islam, Christian, Hinduism, and Sikhism. Kak Fi commented that it is rare to find the Sikh religion to be discussed as well. I'm eager to learn about other religion because of my neighbours really. Both of them, the one in Shah Alam or Danau Kota are avid Hinduist- if I can call it that. They both wake up at 5 and pray- I can tell by the bell sounds. For one they make me embarassed for not doing the tahajud prayer, and next it makes me plain curious to know about what they believe in.

The Hindu and Sikh religion really are quite universalist. They believe that any religion (according to these speakers) leads to the Truth. The hindu speaker, Dr Thilagawathy compares religion to different rivers, which eventually lead to the same sea. The Sikh speaker said it does not matter what the outer package, the inside is still the same. Bro Shah Kirit said he agrees, if, if the inside are really the same. He was referring the aqidah, I believe. Though the intention is good, I don't think we hold the same believe system with other religion. When one non-muslim professor commented on a Quranic ayah that said no other religion is accepted except Islam; Bro Shah Kirit simply said he is talking from an Islamic point of view and that we should not be ashamed of what we believe in. He also admits that his understanding of Islam might be limited but we can only try our best.

I think I would get a better understanding from reading. But interfaith dialogue is a good platform to understand others realistically, and not just from our own little assumption.

This was also my first time to witness people queing up to ask questions, and some were running for the microphone! Some were asking sincere questions and some were just emotional Muslims with good intentions. One asked to the Hindu speaker, 'how can you worship something that we can break just like that?' It reminds me of Prophet Ibrahim a.s. who asked the same thing to his people masyallah.

I come back realizing there are so many things I need to learn about Islam and doing da'wah. Boy, there is so little time to do so many!

We meet again

Glad to meet my friend Sri again. We were close during uni time but I just found out she is 3 years older than me. I was like 'what?' hehe. For some reason I always think that everyone is the same age as me. So..that night after some catching up- I asked her to give me a little tazkirah just to stregthen my heart. In turn she asked me to give her some! I simply blubbered about our purpose of life and the importance of zikir... it got me thinking that I will have to do this kind of thing to my own children some day! It is kind of scary. But also fun. When I am really old (insyallah) hopefully my children will be able to do the same to me. If they refuse, I'll throw the old people tantrum, like 'how can you do this to your mother?' hahaha.

Breather

Trying to catch a quick breath. Just got back home.

In today's little usrah Chu related her little sister's story Fa in US. Her lecturers seem to be slightly excited about convincing her about the scientology belief. So the family..scattered far away in Cambodia and Malaysia is giving her daily pep talk about the aqidah. Boy this is a tough one. In UK when I was surrounded by Jewish, Christian, Atheist, orthodox, liberal, and the unsure- I kinda understand the feeling. But it is a good opportunity to re-learn the religion. The pressure is there. That challenge to justify others, but more importantly yourself that the choice is right. I pray that her iman will become stronger with each challenge insyallah, and that the 9 millions Muslim reverts-last stat I heard- will keep growing, and some of them, perhaps to stumble across the path of my friend's sister there; and strenghten her some more.

Last. I learn something new today. To keep repeating the sin you repented after is consider zalim. Or in Kak Zai's words - 'Memelihara dosa itu zalim'. Sometimes small sentences like this, I think it is simple, but once reflected- what it means just shook me to the core. But but but! Must stay positive for Allah is always Merciful. smile.

Chinese New Year

The heat is on for the Pesta Buku Antarabangsa KL in March. In the publishing world it is PEAK HOUR to publish as many books as possible. In my case, editing books until my eyes go like panda (woof woof!) The scary part is when the books actually arrived; when you spot a mistake then you will feel punching yourself, and later buying lots of Famous Amos to cheer up.Love this part.

Which is why I'm looking forward for the holiday so I can go HOME.

Despite the hectic workload I am cheery for a couple of things:

1. Some friends who are coming out of the closet and telling me about their blog. Which is awesome :)
2. Working on new ideas for my art project.
3. My older sister who is not married yet- so the pressure is off me for at least 5 years. hahaha.
4. Plan to visit friends in Kedah..but no money this month.
5. Reading Asbabul Nuzul- how loving Allah is!
6. We started Usrah in the office.

OK I should get back to work. (and so should you :)

Are you nuts?

A while ago I asked Kak Zai if she was nuts. She said 'No, I am not kacang! hehehe...' I just got back from work after an unfruitful OT and think if I am afterall kacang. There are so many things that I want to do that I end up doing nothing! I am trying to organize my messy life right now. Hehe.

On a good note my screen printing project went well. I managed to print on a duvet and looked surprisingly good! If I wasn't a cheapskate/scaredy cat I would have been happily sleeping on it right now. But because I bought a polyester/ nylon duvet (gasp) they just look pretty but uncomfortable to sleep on.

I am well excited to start other art project, but I need a lightbox to trace design and stuff. Last week I forgot about this and bought new glasses instead. Nuts nuts! But new glasses is good. First they make you dizzy. Then the view. Wow. It reminds me to get out of my comfort zone. Because the view. wow. :)